out of the freezer, into the oven

26 Jun

As mentioned, we’re having our first FET tomorrow and I was feeling overwhelmed and emotional for a few days as a consequence. It wasn’t (isn’t) because I’m not ready for the FET, it’s the opposite in fact – I’m so ready that the possibility of a negative result is f#cking heartbreaking. I’ve been so positive throughout but suddenly I couldn’t get numbers/percentages/what ifs out of my brain (that Inside the Human Body documentary the other night did not help). And I started talking deserving and undeserving to myself – those comparisons are just stupid, I know it.

So Saturday became Distract Shan Day, starting with a morning walk and coffee at our beach.

Zanne’s unwavering confidence, as usual, has been comforting and encouraging and I woke today with a more “what will be, will be” attitude – in spite of my dream about forgetting our FET appointment. This afternoon I completely gave in to my potty-mouthed uterus and did some baby shopping on Etsy. I purchased this hat, this hat and this print. If you ask me, said shopping is considered positive thinking.

As I write this our little embryo should be out of the freezer and preparing his/her cells for 9 months in my oven (AMAZING!). Be brave little one, we’ll see you tomorrow.


One Response to “out of the freezer, into the oven”

  1. The Tao of Pig Pen June 26, 2011 at 11:52 pm #

    Good luck. We went down the road and it worked.

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