Here’s the story

3 Jun

It’s almost a week since my hormone levels spiked (hyper stimulation woo!) and our fresh embryo transfer was called off. The in-between has included a series of ups and downs, and today I’m sitting somewhere between dazed-and-confused and just-plain-emotional.

Here’s the story.

Surgery

I went in wearing underwear, I woke up free ballin’.

The results are in

During a conscious moment in Recovery our Doctor let me know that she had collected 11 eggs. The oxygen mask and the underwear mystery couldn’t kill my buzz, no way! I was stoked, and I remember falling asleep right after thinking “11 eggs! I have to tell Zanne”. The rest of the day was consumed by stomach cramps.

Our Doctor called to check up on me the day after. She had more good news: she had miscounted and actually 12 eggs were collected (yay!). But there was less-good news: 2 eggs were immature. And more less-good news: only 6 eggs fertilized overnight, 2 of which fertilized abnormally. We had 4 embryos – only 4??

When we saw her yesterday, there was bad news (I’m done with the “less-good” now): 1 embryo didn’t continue to grow, we have 3 embryos.

THREE?! But I’m young! And I’m not infertile! What.The.F&ck?!!!

Recovery

I’ve spent most of the week lying on the couch watching Grand Designs on DVD, being fussed over by my wife (who is a wonderful nurse!), receiving food from my Mum and being nudged by our Golden Retriever (just pat me ok!).

I have flitted between trying to distract myself from the results, and trying to process them. I admit that I’ve been feeling disappointed and quite out of control. This is all unknown territory and it’s hard to know what’s the right thing to do or feel – I can’t help but wonder whether maybe we should have just done insemination? Our Doctor, who is also surprised by our results, has said that if we have to go through this process again she will do things differently, in particular she will prescribe a lower dose of FSH and encourage growth a lot more slowly.

Zanne is dealing with all of this as well as trying to find a job. My poor love has the world on her shoulders I think.

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign!

When you’re looking for them, they’re everywhere – and we’ve been lookin’, that’s for sure. A cd connected with a possible name for ourtinydancer was playing in IKEA, our scientist shares the name of my brother, 11 eggs were collected and my birthday is on the 11th (well, there were 11 eggs until they realised there were 12. My birthday is the 11th though!). All signs were positive, we thought. But then our results weren’t so fantastic, and we felt less positive and less sure of the signs.

Until… we joined the dots and realised we have 3 embryos, we want 3 kids, and our “family song” is Three Little Birds by Bob Marley. Another sign! Yes, every little thing is gonna be alright! I know, we sound like idiots. But, seriously, how else are we gonna get through this?

The experience so far

I would say that this process has been both easier and harder than I expected. The first part, the injections, were a lot less traumatic than I thought they’d be. And the surgery was fine too – I’m even more comfortable now with the ol’ wand ultrasounds. The results though have been a lot more disappointing and harder to swallow than I ever imagined – probably cos I never imagined poor results I suppose.

Our Doctor has been fabulous throughout – she is thorough, gentle and very involved. She has called me every day since surgery to see how I’m feeling – perhaps this is standard, but it feels special to me. We highly recommend her if anyone’s interested.

In summary, I know it’s not the end of the world and, of course, we’re lucky to have our 3 embryos. We are both well aware now how emotional this process is set to be, and we’re both committed to doing whatever it takes to bring ourtinydancer down from that cosmic waiting room – however many attempts and however much money that means.

End of Cycle No. 1 – the stats

Dates: 10 May – 2 June

Ultrasounds: 5

Dr Appointments: 6

Blood tests: 7

Injections: 17 (across 11 days)

Eggs collected: 12

Embryos: 3 Transfer: N/A

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2 Responses to “Here’s the story”

  1. Lil June 4, 2011 at 7:44 pm #

    Wow. I really wish you all the best with those three special embryos. am really looking forward to seeing an ultrasound of “tiny dancer” instead of stab stats 🙂

    • ourtinydancer June 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

      Thank you! We’re looking forward to it too 🙂
      But the stab stats make me look tough!

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