Blue jean (IVF) baby

12 May

Just as my lovely wife described here, we’ve wanted a baby since the beginning of time/us. Having been conceived in our hearts and minds long ago we believe our babies to be living temporarily in a big cosmic waiting room, passing time until we’re all finally together – building bike jumps and cubby houses by day, giggling under the covers by night. And in the meantime we imagine various combinations of age, sex, numbers and names, overalls, onesies, tights and shoes – and impatiently await their arrival.

I wasn’t always so honest regarding my feelings about having children though, not even to myself. I blamed ovulation and hormones for all those times I attached myself to friends who were new parents, and sucked all the newly learned baby knowledge out of them; for looking at the babies in sales catalogues rather than the products on sale; for the “aww” that escaped my mouth every time I passed a newborn/toddler/child of any age really.

I blamed ovulating but I couldn’t explain away the wardrobe of baby clothes collected over the last 2 years. Nor could I explain my constant crying the day following the recent birth of my nephew, Landen. After Landen was born there was no more denying it: I am ready to be a mother, and I certainly can’t wait another couple of years no matter what stories I tell myself about hormones. I feel a weird heartache/emptiness without ourtinydancer. It’s time.

And so our IVF journey has begun.









Tuesday 10 May 2011 (by Zanne):

We saw our lovely Dr today, who was excited to see us again. Shan had to have another internal examination (complete with awkwardness and terror) for the Dr to confirm that all is as it should be. In fact, Shan was described as “gold”. Completely naturally Shan’s ovaries are producing loads of follicles, which is awesome and is likely due to her age and good health. Our Dr took us through the IVF process and we learned just how scientific and specific it all is – mindblowing actually! We’ll go through each step as we get to it in real time, it will be much more interesting than if I were to write out a big, long list. Also, I’ll do another post soon regarding our decision to go down the IVF road, as opposed to other options (like IUI for instance).

The best thing to come out of our meeting with the Dr was that she confirmed because Shan is so young and healthy, we only need to go on the short IVF program. The short program starts on the first day of her next period and includes 10 days of injections, followed by egg pickup (under general anaesthetic), followed two or three days later by implantation. Shan’s period is due next week, so we start our baby making mid-next week!!!! Which means, in-so-fact-o, we could very well be “with child” by my love’s 30th birthday mid-next month. ARE WE EXCITED MUCH?! UH-HUH!

As we’re now anticipating approximately one million visits with our Dr over the next month we both informed our bosses/supervisors of our little secret today, and they are all very supportive, which is fantastic.

Wednesday 11 May (also by Zanne):

We started the morning with Julie, the nurse coordinator who will be our point of contact at QFG. She is completely lovely. She took us through everything we need to know – drugs and their administration, the step-by-step process, costs etc. She also answered some very important questions:

Is it ok to drink coffee during the process?

Yes – but in moderation.

Can we mention QFG in our blog?

Yes – they’d also love us to speak at their information sessions after ourtinydancer arrives.

Do lesbian couples ever come in hoping to be pregnant at the same time?

Yes… Us: are they crazy?! Julie: *silent, yet professional eyebrow raise*

Following Julie, we were sent to sit with the psychologist who we have to see by law. He began by asking us if we’re getting along. “Yes”, we responded. We asked if anyone ever said “no”. He said “you’d be surprised how many“. Why on earth would you have a baby together if you weren’t getting along?! He talked through general legal issues relating to the process and to us a gay couple, as well as the many positives of using a known donor – which we figure he did simply to serve up the counter argument for our choice to use an unknown (anonymous) donor. We weren’t too bothered of course, we are confident with our choice and won’t be swayed. To finish the session he gave us some advice about explaining IVF/donors/the whole shebang to our children. Specifically, what information is suitable for little minds, and at what age. We both found his advice quite fascinating and I can imagine us using his exact examples when the time comes.

The part we were most looking forward to was right at the end – our meeting with the Semen Coordinator. All of the semen used for IVF comes from the US where, because donors are paid for their services, the sample is very large/competitive and therefore the quality is extremely high. The Semen Coordinator explained it like this: if the Australian sperm is a 40, the US sperm is a 140. Fair enough.

For me, I feel like choosing the donor is my great contribution, as we’ve decided that Shan will carry ourtinydancer No. 1. While she has to go through almost a year of injections, procedures, morning sickness, swelling, indigestion and growing a baby, I get to select the most handsome, intelligent, warm hearted, and healthy donor we can find. We’d already decided to choose someone with fair hair and light eyes, like us, so when we were handed a piece of paper with a dozen faces it was easy to whittle them down. We were also sent a bunch of profiles following our visit so we sat down last night and narrowed them down to 6. By the time we went to bed it was down to our Top 3. We easily agreed on the Top 3, luckily.

We were told to let the QFG team know our Top 3 ASAP as their supply sells out quickly. On the way to work this morning we switched the order of our preferences so that No 2 became No 1 – only to discover the new No 1 donor was no longer available, so No 2 went back to No 1 (are you confused?). It’s funny because this donor was the one I had felt good about the moment I saw his profile and picture. We figure it was meant to be.

Our semen is now purchased and is waiting for us to catch up. We’ll be there soon little guys!!!

Next step: another Dr’s appointment on Tuesday to set things in motion. It’s all happening 🙂


4 Responses to “Blue jean (IVF) baby”

  1. Mandi May 12, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Wishing you heaps and heaps and heaps of luck over the next bit of time where it all starts happening! I’ve only found your blog recently but I’ll be reading along, crossing my fingers and cheering for you both. xx


  1. Things I know this week « our tiny dancer - May 20, 2011

    […] 4. Apparently sharing IVF cycle news with friends can be a sensitive issue and make said friends feel envious/confronted/upset**. Sometimes I forget we’re all grown ups now. But it’s ok cos I would probably feel the same if the situation were reversed. I mean, I cried for a whole day after my nephew was born. […]

  2. Here’s the story « our tiny dancer - June 3, 2011

    […] be, and we’re both committed to doing whatever it takes to bring ourtinydancer down from that cosmic waiting room – however many attempts and however much money that […]

  3. 5 June 2011 – Nephew No. 2 « our tiny dancer - June 6, 2011

    […] gangster nephew, Landen, visited today. He’s 3 months now and smiles a lot, usually after he has cried a lot first […]

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